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2018-09-03 10:39:00来源:中国日报beat365网是否正规_beat365登陆_Beat365在线体育投注点津



25岁的诗人Taylor Myers在社交媒体Tumblr上写了几段话,不加掩饰地表露了自己对爱的恐惧,而正是这短短的几段话,戳中了百万人的心,收到148万的点赞和转发评论。

Her post, raw, fearful and full of regret, touched many people who had experienced the shocking contrasts between the intense, burning adoration of young love, and the cold ashes of realism that remain once the fire has faded.

她的帖子未加矫饰,带着恐惧,充满遗憾,触动了许多人的心。这些人都经历过两种感情的强烈对比 年少热恋时强烈而炙热的爱慕,和一旦激情爱火燃尽后,只剩现实冰冷的灰烬。


A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it.

很多人问我,我最大的恐惧是什么,或者什么东西让我最害怕。我知道他们希望得到诸如恐高、密闭空间或扮成动物的人这类答案。但我怎么告诉他们呢,17岁的时候,我上了一堂 人生情感 的课程,发现大多数人不爱了的原因和当初坠入爱河的原因完全相同。

That their lover s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain.


Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life.


Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.




She had no idea the post would take off this much, so she wrote a follow-up post to clarify a few things about the class and the love lessons she learned.




I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class.


After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, is love a feeling? Or is it a choice? We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we d never have a lasting relationship of any sort.

老师给我们介绍了这个理论后,她问道: 爱是一种感觉?还是一种选择呢? 我们一群青少年,很自然地回答说是一种感觉。她说,如果我们坚持这种观念,将永远无法拥有任何一种长久的关系。

She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice.


Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing.


They all said that at one point in their marriage, the feeling of love had vanished or faded and they weren t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.

他们都说,在自己婚姻中的某一刻,这种 爱的感觉 消失了,或褪色了,他们不再感到快乐。他们说,感觉一直在变,在这种摇摇欲坠的基础上,你建不起来什么长久的东西。

The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.


The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.


Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful.


I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days. 我发现了感情和承诺之间的区别。我从未主动靠近那些撩拨我心弦或让我劳神的人。我选择的都是那些承诺选择我的人,他们愿意认真去寻找一些哪怕在最不堪的日子里也能让人心生喜欢的东西。

I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.





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